By this point of my pregnancy I was absolutely done!
I was 41 weeks pregnant and feeling extremely heavy. The waddle was in full swing, my mood was the foulest and I was extremely uncomfortable. I was still going through my pregnancy symptoms and so, I was feeling pretty rubbish to say the least.
It was around 2am and I remember waking up feeling like today was the day. I was so restless the whole night I could barely even sleep, Even though I was exhausted. I had so many thoughts running through my mind about my little family expanding. Although it was exciting, it was petrifying at the same time.
As I laid in bed on the morning of the 23rd Feb 2019. I continued to get Braxton hicks, or what I thought they were at least. I didn’t want to prematurely wake my husband, (who was in a deep slumber.)
So I laid there wide eyed for a few minutes. My brain was in overdrive thinking, “Could this be it?” The pains were getting a little stronger but nothing I couldn’t handle just yet.
I pulled out my phone and again it was time for ‘Dr Google’ to tell me if I was in labour.
(I don’t advise doing this. Just call your midwife or the hospital to be safe.) After a thorough search, I downloaded a contraction timing app which really helped a lot.
As I sat timing them, the pain started to get more intense and I knew it was happening. I nudged hubby a little and said “I think its time.” I rang my mum who was downstairs and asked her to come up to our room.
She approached the room just as I was shuffling to the edge of the bed. All of a sudden I felt something pop, it was a weird sensation to say the least. No I’m not referring to my tummy, I wish it could have been that simple, POP & baby’s here!!
Sadly not, the sound was my waters breaking!
I slapped on a humongous pad which was really more like a nappy in width, and length to be honest. My contractions were getting kind of unbearable (little did I know this was nothing in comparison to what was coming.)
I’d always thought I would be a little glam for labour. I envisioned a nice natural makeup look, I had planned on getting a mani & pedi for that typical baby holding the finger pic to post on my snap story. I wanted a cute but effortless hairstyle, to just look and feel like I had my stuff together!
It was a huge failure. I ended up being the complete opposite of everything I wanted! I wore zero make up. My nails were atrocious, I had to paint over the chipped parts of polish between contractions. I tried to convince myself that from a distance they wouldn’t look too bad.
My hair was pulled back into a bun with zero product in to reduce the frizz. I opted for an oversized jumper, maxi skirt and I planned on slipping my feet into the first pair of shoes by the front door when it was time to go.
We decided to call the hospital and let them know I was hoping to come in. Hubby grabbed the bags and we all rushed downstairs. I slipped on some sandals and sat squeezing mum’s hand every time I felt a contraction.
We were all so anxious waiting for the ward to pick up my call. I’d heard many times that they almost always make you stay home until your contractions are around 4 mins apart. Mine were all over the place, but one thing was for sure, I was in excruciating pain.
I remember thinking this cannot get any worse and every second, it did!
I’d become a blubbering mess and could hardly talk to the midwife on the phone. A feeling of relief rushed over me when she told me to come in and thank god, because I was inhaling and exhaling like a mad woman.
We rushed out the door and hubby drove us to the hospital. It was only a 10 min drive away but it felt like we were in the car forever.
We pulled up to the hospital and mum came to my side to get me out of the car. Upon standing the rest of my waters came trickling down my legs and through my, what I thought was an invincible pad.
My contractions were in full swing by now and I had to stop walking when I felt them coming on. The effects of the pain made me extremely nauseous and dizzy. The fear of the unknown was causing me to panic.
(My husbands name is Sergio so I’ll refer to him by this from now on. I keep saying hubby like we are newlyweds, Its been 3 years!)
So, Me and mum are sitting outside reception waiting for Sergio to come back from parking the car. I’m rocking back and forth, my skirt is sticking to me, my legs are shaking, the contractions – IMMENSE. People were staring at me like they’d never seen a woman in labour before. I felt so embarrassed. Finally he comes in with a wheelchair for me and briskly walks with me and mum to the labour ward.
I’m still timing my contractions and puffing like a dragon at this point. Thankfully things moved rapidly once we got inside. The midwife told me to remove my ‘undergarments’ who even calls them that? and to lay on the bed.
As I laid there Anxiety suddenly kicked in and I found myself worrying majorly about worst case scenarios. Going over and over in my head…
What would happen if my baby wasn’t okay? How would we cope?
What if something happens to me during labour? or worse, what if I die?
How will my baby ever know how much I loved and wanted him?
All these thoughts were racing through my mind and I couldn’t control any of them.
I was abruptly brought back to reality when the nurse examined me, She let me know that I was already 5cm’s dilated.
She asked me to put on my birthing gear and said I could get into the pool.
I thought I’d be fancy and have a nice relaxing water birth… who the hell was I kidding. There is NOTHING relaxing about childbirth!
After a couple of hours of being at one with my ever growing in intensity contractions; I remember telling myself that there’s no possible way the next ones could be as bad as the previous, and being wrong every. single. time.
A few hours later, I finally felt as though something else was happening. A feeling other than contractions. I took the gas and air thingy out of my mouth, just long enough to shout at the nurse “I need a poo“.
I received a look of ‘ Sure you do, first time mummy’ while she walked over to the pool to check on me. Her mirror in hand to have a peep and as she did she replied “Oh, yes I can see his hair!”
I smiled up at mum thinking “Yes, its nearly over!” Not knowing that the worst was yet to come. I remember feeling this huge urge to poop. Like huge!
I’ve heard people comparing it to ‘pushing out a watermelon’ and I would think, why is there so much exaggeration? I kid you not, its wildly accurate.
His head was coming and it didn’t matter what I did, I couldn’t control the pace.
I’m not sure why the nurse was telling me to “push slowly”
You better believe I pushed hard, with every strength I had in me.
I found that it was impossible to do anything other than push. I couldn’t fight the urge and so I had no choice but to ignore all instructions.
My chin was pressed into my chest as I pushed relentlessly. Thinking to myself “You’re gonna need some reconstructive surgery after this for sure.” I didn’t care to be honest, I was about to meet my baby. It took just two strong pushes and out he came.
I reached down to pick him up, he was looking up at me with his eyes wide open. All the pain I was feeling immediately went away as I laid cradling him in my arms for a few minutes.
This was the most surreal and amazing experience I’ve ever been through.
I sat, looking at this little baby who had caused my body to change so drastically – To feel that it was all worth it, was incredible.
He was the baby I had dreamed about and prayed for and my prayers were answered in the most amazing way. A mothers love is unconditional and It grows stronger with each passing day.
Buuut, would I do it again? Probably not…